Our Journey Begins–The Long Good-Bye

I knew it when the phone rang yesterday. I looked down at it, saw the caller and prepared my heart. ❤️ It was a moment that we had anticipated coming…..but just didn’t know when.
It was a call we talked about, discussed….but it was hanging over us like a looming shadow–waiting for the darkness.

I wrote a blog last year titled “My Mom Still Remembers Me” (http://www.traceerandall.com/blog/my-mom-still-remembers-me/) and from the title you can guess the content. Yes, my Mom has been slowly slipping away from us over the past few years….a slow, steady good-bye.

No one is going to pretend it’s easy. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t hurt. But I’m not going to allow what the enemy meant for my evil to affect my praise.

I’m a teacher. An educator, a healer. A writer, a story-teller. I journal and I write to heal myself. My Mom’s story is personal, but something amazing is going to happen in the sharing of it.
I’m going to be REAL. I’m not going to hold back. For some it may cut to the core and you’ll ask “Why?” I’m a healer. I know without a shadow of a doubt why at 79 years old my Mom can’t remember what day it is, what she did yesterday or 10 minutes ago. I know why she asks the same question over and over and over. I know why she has no idea what she is getting dressed to do, or what she just watched on TV. I know WHY and I’m going to share it with the world.

The call was from my stepfather who I know loves my Mom dearly. A great man, a man who loves God and loves his family. A man who has dedicated his life to making 2 women comfortable and feel loved. His first wife who slipped away slowly from cancer, and now Mom, who is slipping away from Alzheimer’s.

I know as I write this in the calm before the storm that I can’t anticipate the turmoil that she will bring to an already high-intensity life. Just as the coastline families board up and buckle down and prepare their homes and bodies for the forecasted hurricane, it’s not until the first blast of 100-mile-an-hour winds that ram against their front door that they truly understand what’s about to happen.

But it’s all they got. It’s “home”. My Mom took care of me when I was helpless and couldn’t take care of myself. She worked 2-3 jobs to make sure I had what other girls had. She wasn’t perfect but she loved us. She made mistakes but she never abandoned us.

Bobby and I have talked about this day. We’ve weathered many storms together in our 32 years.
We are battering down the hatches, we are building the storm windows, we are stocking up on provisions and we are getting ready for the storm at hand.
#ButGod. God is our secret weapon. He is our rock, our foundation. He will be in the midst of the battle. He will still the waters. He will give us peace and sleep in the midst of it.
And I will rise up and do what God has called ME to do. Just watch!
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